How is it that we have managed to get such a bad rep?
I was learning about integrating the spiritual into counselling this week, and about Christian counselling. I am taking my course at Willows, a Christian counselling centre, which is all inclusive. They do not have bias toward training just Christians and therefore a number, in fact most of the people on my course are non-Christians, which made the discussions around Christian counselling very diverse and interesting this week. I have come to realise though, after hearing quite a large number of the non-Christians speak about their experiences with Christians, that it almost always seems to have been a negative one.
And I ask myself why?
Why is it that I find myself apologising to people on behalf of “my people”? Why is it that we as Christians feel it is acceptable to cause another person emotional harm in the name of religion – and a religion which is based on love?
The Bible tells us God is love. All Biblical principles are linked and based off the love God has for his children. He sent his only son to die on a cross for us – for all of us, no matter who we are – we are loved, cherished. We were created and chosen.
I am reminded of the verses in 1 John 4 which says,
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. 10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us, and his love is perfected in us.
13 By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Saviour of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
It feels to me that we are doing God a disservice by not functioning out of this love to everyone. Shouldn’t that be our foundation, our starting point when speaking to anyone? Surely that should be our reputation, a reputation for being outrageously full of love. Non-Christians should be bragging about how loving Christians are, they should come away from every interaction with a Christian wondering how it is that a person has such a capacity for love and acceptance. So, what are we doing wrong? Why is our reputation one of judgement?
Prayer points:
- Let us ask God for the capacity to love as he does
- Help us to remember that what we say to others can either build someone up or tear them down
- Help us to speak out of a non-judgemental stance
Written by Naomi Ackland, Office Coordinator for Swindon Youth for Christ