Conversations.
Life is full of conversation. It happens every day. Some people are quieter than others and some people can’t shut up.
98% of the conversation in the UK revolves around the weather, whilst the remaining 2% seems to be reserved for the latest political uproar that comes out of Westminster. It’s strange how we deem some conversation to be easily spoken whilst others difficult. Like there is some kind of emotional treadmill that is set to an unbearable speed.
I wonder what one of your most difficult conversations have been? The fact that your favourite football team missed promotion? The sharing of a passing of a loved one? Or that KFC has run out of chicken?
Let me tell you about mine.
It wasn’t the fact that my new bride receives the diagnosis of cancer.
It wasn’t that I needed emergency surgery on my nearing bursting appendix.
It wasn’t being subject to an unlawful dismissal.
It wasn’t that my knee ligament surgery had failed and it needed redoing.
It wasn’t even hearing that my 4-year-old daughter has been given a diagnosis of a terminal illness (even though all of these were hellish).
It was the conversation with my 9-year-old son regarding his sibling that wasn’t going to get better which most hurt.
To see him weep. To watch him curl up into a ball and ask the question why. To see his whole being recoil into a position of grief as the emotional weight of the words buckled his little body into one of horrific realisation. In those moments, the broken pieces of your heart that once held a happy boy are shattered once more. As the tears flowed like a torrential downpour from his eyes, you are left helpless as your child verbalises the questions that repeatedly echo around the chasm of your mind, “Where is God?…”, “How can God….?”, “If only God could…..”, “Why isn’t He…..?”
Hearing the words of escape from his mouth was like listening to a previous recording from my own counselling sessions months prior. And somehow, in that one conversation, I knew that this was just the beginning of many more difficult conversations ahead.
As I’ve reflected, I’ve thought about our planet earth. You see it’s easy to conceptualise and think of Heaven as a lovely place filled with happiness and is light; and Hell as a place filled with despair and darkness. And as we exist, I kind of get the feeling that we simply live in…..grey. That place where heaven doesn’t completely reign, and hell hasn’t taken over. In emoji terms, we live in “Meh”. It’s the in between of deity and diabolical. It’s the now, but not yet. The walking, but not running. It’s the formational, not formed. The combination of light and darkness intertwined into just….grey…
As we journey through this thing called life, it is therefore important to remember that, to live means we will end up scarred. And to end up scarred, means that we are still in the process of being formed. For me, faith is the combination of what and who God says he is, intermixed into the reality of life. It may be that through life’s circumstances that we have to bend and unlearn a previously held theology that may not be right. In these times as we are stripped back and we may even end up with scars in our wrestling (as Jacob did), but is in these times when all is shaken that we truly hold onto what is true. I’m not saying God is the one sending us into the excrement of life, but he is the one helping to find the real-truths in it.
After all, it’s better to stand strong in 1 truth, than to live false-truths in lots of areas.
1 Corinthians 15:56-58
56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.
Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, join me in praying for:
- Those children and young people who are in dire circumstances and cannot see God.
- Those working with children and young people who are in these situations. That they would have wisdom to know when to talk, or just be with them.
- My family as we question, ponder, and hold onto what we know to be true as we wrestle with God.
- Families who have recently lost a loved one or been diagnosed with health issues.
- Our minds as we face each day. May God draw close to those who need his tangible presence.
Written by Dave Clarke, Director of Swindon Youth for Christ.